There are days of doubt and fear when we pray…… unending, unrelenting, breathing prayer without ever saying a word out loud.
Praying in faith believing over the several weeks previous to this day’s end, have been made up of bold, believing shouts out loud to God prayers. With every opportunity, I have prayed with authority from the many years of deeply rooted truths from God’s Word written in my heart.
Tonight, there are prayers from a hospital room and an unexpected twist along this journey. How incredibly amazing that the hospital television has an entire “Healing Content”, get-well network, filled with beautiful photos and the ambient sounds of relaxing and restful places.
After Monty left tonight and I was settling in alongside of my sister, I chose for us the quiet of a trickling forest creek in hopes for her to rest peacefully through the night.
As the display of beauty and sound began to play, I adjusted the volume on the TV remote, placed it by her head and listened closely to her every breath as I watched her chest rise and fall.
We have had a most eventful and hard day. While there is still so much that we do not know, watching her sleep peacefully and breathe so perfectly soothes a bit of the anxious that rises up in me every now and then.
All that I CAN do for her is wait WITH her, focus my requests toward heaven and gather every ounce of strength that I have to speak truth over the darkness of the unknown…..
In these quiet moments, there is a strong sense of abiding union with the Lord. Whole as one. So much more than being held but a blanket of cover known only in the presence of the Holy Spirit’s bridled power spread deep and wide with enduring, unwavering love and care. So sweetly tender. Moment by moment awakening in the unseen work of God’s hand and I can feel it deep in my soul.
Every now and then the tears well up in my lower eyelids- right up to the edge and so very close to spilling out. Even this small heart dares to blink as a sign of conceding to defeat in the midst of this battle. #warrior #child #sister #caregiver
The waiting. That movement of God in my heart that reminds me— to hold on to and know full-well that God is greater.
He is able.
He is healer.
I watch a tear trickle from just inside the corner of Claudia’s eye. Our prayers have been steadfast and she is worthy of every petition that has been prayed and tenderly sifted through the hands of “The One” who sits at the right hand of God enthroned.
“…. our comfort in suffering is this: YOUR promises (God) renew our lives.” Psalm 119:50
I wipe away her tear and begin to breathe heavenward with each breath every promise that God brings to remembrance.
For every one of you that has prayed, we are so grateful. We are expectant and believing nothing less than this to be an opportunity for His glory to be displayed in her life. How it will bring honor to God— this we WILL tell!!
I continue to sing in my heart God’s Word and His promises over her as we settle in to the late night and into the early morning rhythm of another day if the Lord wills for answers.
Lord, you promise that You are my (her) ever-present help in trouble…
You promise that Your grace is more than sufficient for my (her) every need…
You assure that you will never leave or forsake me (her)….
You promise to be the One who will go out and fight for me (her)….
With every promise my heart beats strong for her….
The book of Joshua tells me that you will be with me (her) wherever I (she) goes…..
You promise you are a refuge for the oppressed, and a stronghold in times of trouble…
You say You will counsel me (her) and watch over me (her), and guide me (her)by Your righteous right hand…
You’ll sustain me (her)and be my (her) mighty fortress…
You invite me (her) to cast my (her) cares on You, for You will never let me (her) fall…
Your name is a strong tower, and as the righteous run into it, they are safe…..
Jesus, You tell me I’m (SHE IS) SAFE….
In the sacred moments—
TRUTH spoke the depths of our darkness into light and became the presence of hope that I hold on tight to FOR her….
In the gap….
In the quiet…
In these moments…
While the whole world kept moving right outside of the door and not one thing regarding the circumstances have changed….
Truth. Set. Free.
The pain in my heart was and is still throbbing, but my courage has been renewed by truth for a road neither of us would have chosen. I am assured that no matter how old I get, in His sovereignty, God still allows me new opportunities along my faith journey that may stretch my heart. I am assured that they will always lead me on a path of promise and hope. The reminder that no matter how tough I think I am, it is the power of God that gives us the strength for every enduring moment we may face.
No. Matter. What.
I am smiling so fully inside. Actually I am STILL smiling all over the outside too!!
At some point my sister’s nurse came into the room- which I did not realize. She told me later that she paused but then left because I was typing and the smile on my face was not what she had seen previously and she wanted me to smile out loud for as long as that smile might possibly last.
Because the blessing of hope was no longer shadowed by my pursed lips and furrow on my brow but a smile secured by real faith- You know the kind of faith that wrangles through things with the Lord and is ultimately what real courage is made up of.
Courage that finds its position bowed low and giving thanks in ALL things!
Grrrrrr…… She so busted me!
An exhausting journey for so many reasons but it has not been because it is TOO hard.
Life is always moving and we all get weary for ALL of the right reasons. You know it is true.
With every Bible verse inwardly spoken over Claudia tonight came an infusion of life-giving blood into our spiritual veins.
In the quiet and stillness, the sweetness of God has revealed Himself as an ever present and perfectly available Savior.
“In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help… He heard my voice….” Psalm 18:6
Wow. Just wow!
Ann VosKamp says it this way—
“Don’t ask me how it works, or how the Holy Spirit does it, but when we DO the Word – actually DO it — something splits the seams of heaven and pours out a shower of blessings.”
This I know—
Ankle deep in my humanity. Light broke through and overpowered the darkness tonight just as it did in that small stable in Bethlehem so very long ago!
This is where our hope lies. #thecoming #advent
Come Lord Jesus Come
At this day’s end……